as i take a step back into real life i will take care not to forget that things i take for granted in this bubble i must take with me into the world no mistake
how do you precis your life to someone you may see once or twice a year but whom you know genuinely cares? do you speak of grand sweeps the many blessings that keep descending or of any of the unending parade of tedious minutiae the things that stress and test and try? i feel 1 thousand things a day so how should i know what to say the millions i've tried to forget since we last met
i sat down to write a poem to distract me from all the things i didn't want to have to do but the draws of assorted glowing screens ate my mind ate my time all i scrawled was this
every day when i log on to twitter the first thing i do is open lists and click upon the link that takes me straight to you in futile hope that you've returned as if you'd never been away to the social medium you spurned eighteen months ago today i know you had your reasons and i know they're pretty sound and i know that my worries and wishes you were still around are just selfish expressions of a self-involved regret and i know i know you less than anyone you ever met and it shouldn't be an issue and i should get over it but the fact remains i miss you cos you were my favourite twit
and it starts like this i look through the glass know every detail of the facade yet nothing that's behind what light bounces from life passes by in a blur but this view is immobile it is my permanent backdrop still and stoic as the vortex sucks the details into oblivion
swarming with the commuter shoal this morning through the crowded concourse i was on course for an architecturally-haired young man wearing a cheap ill-fitting suit who was staring at the cleaners' cart from which he was maybe eight men apart at this point the soundtrack in my cans began the gentle drum roll intro to a tune the timing could not have been more opportune i watched as the young man raised up his empty take-away cappuccino cup and with laudable insouciance and a quick half-disguised flick of his wrist propelled the rubbish toward that bin slowly trundling away from him and as i watched as that tumbling cup fell the music in my ears started to swell and as i watched it glide into its goal without touching the sides the song kicked in its first sforzando chord i had to fight my hands not to applaud the young man's stony face allowed a tiny grin of triumph in celebration of this win
literally as soon as this happened i thought that i finally had a way to use this title supplied to me by the lovely @likecrazypaving
when you stumble home feeling snowman-ish with two ingredients (and maybe some garnish) you can make a meal which will banish all traces of hanger from your belly and clear fear from your mind as well (e- ven if you cant afford to shop at the organic deli) opening up your refrigerator you will find a bowl or plate or tupperware of food you left for later last night or perhaps the night before when you discovered you had prepared more food than could be crammed into your maw be grateful to yourself of yesterday as his propensity for overca- tering has given you "ingredient a" depending on the nature of your saved comestibles it may take too much brave- ery to eat cold so a microwave or saucepan may be used to warm it through the method selected is up to you (who am i to tell you what to do?) the second step is also none-too-hard it simply requires you to maillard some bread (stopping before it's charred) once happy with the browning of your bread all that's really left to do is spread ingredient a all across its head it's nothing of which you will want to boast but the delicious dish i make the most brings simple joys - leftovers on toast
this city is a continent but my city is an archipelago collected familiar islands a family of isolated recollections places i have grown to know to love, to fear, to long to revisit federated states of mind suspended in a soup spread among a sea the undulating waves and shipping lanes of places across which i travel cross over, pass by, fly through and i love those geological events those volcanic moments when new land masses emerge rising from the depths of the darkness new islands or just new spurs peninsulas slowly encroaching the shores of the formerly unknown
just a twisted, tiny-hearted man who never understood the way to feel he don't when love-atrophy began and can't even be sure if he is real which is partly because he's just a composite and partly because he's partly parts of me but he's concluded mostly it's because it isn't easy to define reality the voice inside narrating his life had started stating that by now his heart was in need of reinflating
his heart had very slowly crusted hard like play dough that's been left out in the sun he needed a crash cart and cpr but most of all he just needed someone to take that clay and gently start remoulding to find the kind of form he isn't suite to polish off the dirt and find the golden kernel and the glowing pilot light the voice inside narrating his life had started stating
there were just too many pluses he's negating
i've never played a cello i've never read hello i've never under-analysed the works of aa milne i've never won a race i've never been to space chances are i've never seen your favourite film i've never won a toga i've never tried to yoga i've never saved much money through attempts at haggling i've never prayed to zeus i've never finished proust in fact i've never even eaten a madeleine i've never been to lords i've never been adored i've never impressed people when i've met them i've never kept control i've never reached my goals though that's because i've never really set them